Are you Watering the weeds?
Zen monk Thich Nhat Hanh said,
“Your mind is like a piece of land planted with many different kinds of seeds: seeds of joy, peace, mindfulness, understanding, and love; seeds of craving, anger, fear, hate, and forgetfulness. These wholesome and unwholesome seeds are always there, sleeping in the soil of your mind. The quality of your life depends on the seeds you water. If you plant tomato seeds in your garden, tomatoes will grow. Just so, if you water a seed of peace in your mind, peace will grow. When the seeds of happiness in you are watered, you will become happy. When the seed of anger in you is watered, you will become angry. The seeds that are watered frequently are those that will grow strong.”
As imperfect and flawed human beings, we often default to following a path in our mind that doesn’t serve us well. Many of us are familiar with that old record tape - the one filled with negative self-talk that cycles on repeat — you know, that super catchy track about not being good enough, thin enough, or smart enough? Or that tappin’ tune about regret? Cue the chorus with all the shoulda, woulda, couldas of your life. Ooo, or maybe that smooth beat about about jealousy is your jam - playing the comparison game between your ho-hum life and her Insta-perfect one?
When we really start to pay attention, we discover that we spend a lot of time in this negative, cyclical headspace - watering the weeds, rather than the flowers. Despite it being counterintuitive, watering the weeds is familiar, well-worn, and easy to access after years of walking that beaten path. When it comes down to it, it’s just easier; and who doesn’t like pressing the easy button every now and then?
As we begin February - the halfway point between winter solstice and the spring equinox (meaning we’re inching closer to longer, brighter days = spring!), I invite you to take a walk around the garden of your mind. Take some time to linger. What has been growing in your garden that has brought sadness, anger, bitterness, resentment or other negative thoughts and emotions?
Has something good turned sour or not go as planned?
Have you received unexpected news that caused turbulence and unrest?
Have you been hurt by someone or did you hurt someone else?
Allow yourself to sit in this uncomfortable space – examine the pitfalls, the missteps, the pain. Invite honesty. Take your time to explore and be here now. We cannot emerge into the light without exploring the shadows. So, be patient and open to whatever comes up for you now. If you can, write it down. Bear witness to your most revealing thoughts and emotions.
As you wander through your garden, ask yourself, “Am I allowing thoughts of regret, fear, anxiety, frustration, jealousy, or guilt to be tended to - watered, fed, and allowed to grow out of control?” Whenever you let your thoughts remain on things long past or fantasize about a future that you know cannot be, you are watering the weeds. And as any gardener can attest, the more water weeds get, the taller and more stubborn they become.
As you move through your days, check-in and notice - are you watering the weeds or tending to the blooms? Water the seeds you want to see grow.
